“If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.” – Henry Ford
By Bernard Percy
I have consulted hundreds upon hundreds of individuals to help them determine the right choice to make for their career or educational path. One of the biggest barriers I know I have to prevent and handle before I deliver any consultation is the YEAH BUT barrier, or you think you can’t. What is a YEAH BUT? It is “I am not sure I can ever be good enough.” “I don’t know if I can really make that happen.” And any of the hundreds of variations on those ideas.
Willie Nelson commented, “Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.” An example I always tell people that I never get sick, and that is true; if I feel I have a fever or some flu-like symptom I think to myself “My body is ‘breaking out in health’”. The positive viewpoint produces positive results.
I was reading the book about Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger the pilot who, after losing power in his engines due to birds flying into them, landed his USAir plane on the Hudson River in New York City, with 155 passengers on board. He became a hero for his quick decisions and skills as a pilot that saved so many lives. He had no YEAH BUTS during that emergency landing. All his life, since he was six years old, he knew he wanted to be a pilot. He was very fortunate to have found his passion at such an early age, and he NEVER doubted he would achieve his goal.
On the other end of the spectrum was an 11 year old girl was in such a strong YEAH BUT about herself she became depressed, and did not want to leave her house. She did not want to speak with anyone about how to improve her attitude and was drowning in the sorrow of numerous YEAH BUTS about herself.
She liked me and I was the only person she agreed to see; I knew my job was to help her say YEAH about herself.
I was able to do that by strongly focusing on the YEAHs about her. At one point in the consultation, she asked me a great question, I focused on the positive about that question, I focused on the YEAH!!!“ Below is a comment after the consultation:
Right now at school I am doing very well … at school and would just really like to say thank you for everything you did for me …
“… I have also figured out what job I want to have when I’m older … and am really excited, I can’t wait to grow up! I’ve figured out what school I’m going to go to get a degree in both, which is good.
“Just reading over my success story again was great because it actually made me realize how well I was doing and that I actually now (for the first time in my life) want to go to school and want to be at school and am really proud of myself.”
When my daughters were young and they would tell me they can’t do something I knew they could do, I would say to them, “You are an AmeriCAN, not an AmeriCAN’T. (This will also work if you live in Canada, “You are a CANadian not a CAN’Tadian— what other countries can you say that, or something similar?)
When I deliver a consultation I first get an agreement that my client must be willing to let me admire them throughout the consultation. I explain we will only focus on what is good and right about you, I allow no negatives, i.e., “YEAH BUTS”. I tell them, “When I only hear the things that are good and right about you, how can I not admire you!”
Muhammad Ali commented, “I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was.”
With the Foundations of Brilliance program we allow no YEAH BUTS, this helps you discover where you want to be the greatest, and can achieve that level of success.
Mahatma Gandhi commented, “Man often becomes what he believes himself to be.” If you keep on saying to yourself that you cannot do a certain thing, you will most likely become incapable of doing it.